Hi All,
It's been awhile since I've shared my heart to the internet. Before I started my blogger blog (lol), I had a tumblr page that included hearty, deep, intimate posts that I thought would encourage other readers. These days I find myself sharing posts about our "perfect" life.
So to change things up. Here's my heart.
I AM NOT PERFECT.
In all honesty, everything you see on my social media outlets are usually staged, the fifth or sixth "this will work" photo of the bunch, or the "don't look it's supposed to be a candid" picture. It's true, I'm the gal in my friend group that carries my big girl camera around to mundane events. What is supposed to be a chill hang out with our closest group of friends turns into this huge soiree I post about on my Instagram or even this blog. Although, don't get me wrong. Those moments that I have the honor of capturing via my camera are essentially my appreciation and ode to the experiences of being with such a wonderful group of people.
But what seems innocent at the time of the image being captured on my iPhone or camera, I deliberately turn away from the group to edit the photo, type a great caption, and proceed to refresh my feed until I'm satisfied with the amount of "Likes" I receive. And by the time I reach 100 likes, I would finally put my phone down.
I'm a perfectionist. Raised in a family of perfectionists. And because I'm an artist of some sort, everything around me needs to feel and be aesthetically pleasing. And when things are, I feel the liberty to share these experiences because I need to prove something... That I have it all together. That everything seems perfect.
But I don't have it all together. And everything isn't perfect.
I'm tired. I'm weak. I'm struggling with my eczema from so much stress. I'm an insomniac. I have a paper to write. I didn't make the bed this morning. I haven't gone running in two days. There are dishes in the sink. And loads of laundry that need my attention.
I'm human. Trying to be a perfect mess. And these days that oxymoron is harder to control. The messy part seems to be seeping in to the "perfect" of my life.
So, to all of us perfectionists: You are lovely, brave, and courageous for trying your best to control your life. It's been hard. But today, let yourself be the imperfect human being without beating yourself up. Look at your priority list and put yourself as number one. Instead of pointing out the flaws you see about yourself and the life around you, start appreciating the lovely things that make you, you.
In the cliche of it all: We are all trying to be perfect in a world of mirrors, scales, great lighting, and front facing cameras. But as I share this, I encourage you, my readers, to share your human-ness with one another. The raw person behind the camera, behind the blog, and behind the perfectly captioned posts is the person we all must come to appreciate. Because who you are is lovely regardless of all the "likes" and "heart-eyes" emojis.
WHO YOU ARE IS LOVELY.
WHO YOU ARE IS LOVELY.
WHO YOU ARE IS LOVELY.
"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairsytles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." // 1 Peter.3.3-4
I pray that God's grace will captivate you in a gentle way. And I pray that your worth isn't found in the amount of "Likes" you get, but found in the joy you bring to your God, and to the people who know you and love you for who you are. You are altogether lovely. The best way to love yourself, is to love God, who lives in you.
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