A sweet friend of mine who's getting married in January asked me to write about how my marriage is going. At first, I was a little hesitant because it's only been 6 months that Lane and I have been in the marriage club. Nonetheless, as a young wife who's moved to a different city in a different state, started my Master's degree while working two jobs, I feel my two cents have some value as little nuggets of wisdom to share with the cyber world.
This song played as we walked down the aisle as the
new Mr. & Mrs. Greenleaf-Perez! Click play!
So let's rewind to exactly 6 months ago today standing at the altar in front of our family and closest friends. Lane and I agreed to recite the traditional vows after we read letters we wrote to each other. Here is a little snippet of what I wrote to him:
"I knew I loved you from the very beginning. And I'm so glad that you had the courage
to write me a love letter 4 years ago that began our beautiful relationship. That courage has
brought us here today, writing yet another letter to each other but this time on our wedding day.
We made it. We're finally here.
. . .
You have been my calm during the storm, my blanket when I'm cold, and my biggest dream.
You are a reflection of God's unconditional love and I know I can trust you
to carry my heart, and that I can make a home in yours."
And since saying "I do" and fully dedicating my life to being a faithful wife to my husband, I've learned a few things about myself and found things I'd like to "change" about the way I operate day-to-day in our household and in our marriage. I know that whenever the word "change" is used there's usually a heaviness in my gut. As if, something is wrong with me and that I won't be lovable until I "fix" it.
And this is the first lesson I've learned and still working out. I am still loved, regardless. . .
Regardless if I haven't washed the dishes, haven't fixed the bed, didn't cook dinner on time, or in all honestly, don't cook at all (I do make a good sous chef though)! Lane is the last person in the whole world to break my heart and I trust him to keep it, and keep it safe. These past few months I finally understand fully that Lane didn't marry me because I could cook or because I could keep our house clean.
So a change I'd like to see in myself, in our marriage, in our daily life would be to allow more room for GRACE. Grace in the spectrum of the big and small is easy to believe but difficult to execute toward others, but more for ourselves. So, as I finally understand the grace Lane chooses to give to me every day during our first six months of marriage, I am truly learning to accept it as his wife. It's a hard thing to do but something I'm trying to choose every day, or else I'd stay stuck being insecure, or hating how I'll never be a perfect Pinterest princess, and be haunted by the "failures" I put upon myself.
So ladies and gents, I'm thankful today (oh, what a week to be thankful - especially if I get to eat a huge turkey) for grace, my husband, and the choice of being a gracious wife to myself first. When I recited my letter - I meant every word. That I would be able to trust Lane to carry my heart. I've truly made my home in his heart and I'm not paying rent. I'm here to stay.
Happy 6 months of being married, Lane. We're still here.
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